Slanted Science

An unused gym ID card in the kitchen drawer. Several partially-assembled bits of scary-looking machinery in the garage. And a whole lot of junk in the trunk. So many of us have all of these accoutrements of failed diets, and more (a food diary with only two completed days in it, anyone?). We know we’re a bit doughy, we’re well aware that life would be easier, happier, less wheezy if we shed a few pounds, but hell…how terrible would it be if lived without cheese, pasta and more cheese?

Well, here’s something else to add the list of “Terrible things that happen to fat people” (which currently includes heart attacks, diabetes and being pelted with snowballs by thirteen-year olds shouting “Get the blubber monster! Kill it!“).

Cancer.

Scientists in Europe (headed by Andrew Renehan) have been revealing details of their latest study, in which they estimate that, in 2002, obesity was to blame in 70,000 out of that year’s 2.2million European cancer cases (that’s about 3%). Singled out as particularly associated with being a fatty were breast, colorectal and endometrial cancers.

Added to this in the UK was oesophogeal cancer,thought to be due to country-specific interactions with other risk factors (we all know that the inhabitants of that green and pleasant land love nothing more than a pint and a smoke, two great ways to abuse your oesophagus, or ‘food pipe’).

So, the message is: losing weight is another way of reducing cancer risk. Because there’s no way scientists deal in molehill/mountain transmutations, is there? Over to you, Dr. Renehan:

“I must emphasise that we are not trying to be sensationalist about this…These are very conservative estimates, and it’s quite likely that the numbers are, in fact, higher.”

Lovely! Sort of, “It’s not our intention to scare anyone. But…SHIT! LOOK OUT! IT’S GOING TO EAT US ALL!“