Slanted Science

Archive for the ‘Good News For Bad People’ Category

We’re not sure why, but everybody is reporting today on the Dutch scientists who have created meat within a lab culture system. First as always, we reported this in November last year. So here’s a re-post for ya:

Great news for vegetarians who miss the taste of meat: in a few years, you may be able to chow down on a slice of bacon or two with a clean conscience. Scientists report today the first ever production of a piece of meat grown entirely in vitro.

Where next with this? May we suggest co-culturing a piece of pork with a pair of pigeon wings? Hey presto: flying pigs. Read the rest of this entry »

Scientific breakthroughs have traditionally been announced to the world at serious, prestigious conferences to an audience of bookish old men dressed in tweed.

So kudos to Douglas Hines, who last week made his big proclamation at the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, presumably to an audience of sweaty perverts wearing heavily-stained underpants.

And his revolutionary scientific advance? Why, only a life-sized robotic girlfriend with artificial intelligence and the ability to speak.

What? It was hardly going to be a cure for cancer, now was it? Read the rest of this entry »

Sometimes scientists test our faith in their infallibility: see the mess of Climategate for a recent example. Other times, we read a story which makes us want to find the nearest boffin and give them a big old hug.

A sloppy, leering, drunken hug. Read the rest of this entry »

A large collaborative effort has sequenced the entire genomes of two of the most common cancer types: skin (’melanoma‘) and lung (’small-cell lung cancer)’. The scientists involved report tens of thousands of mutations in the tumors’ genomes, and speculate that their work may expedite the development of specific drugs to treat these diseases.

Hoorah!

Read the rest of this entry »

These are strange times. On the one hand, mankind is photographing individual molecules, smashing space rockets into the moon and flinging together sub-atomic particles in the hope of observing the most fundamental units of our universe.

And on the other: they’re barring a guy from taking elected office in the USA because he doesn’t believe in gods.

Jesus, as they say, wept. Read the rest of this entry »

“I’ve got thyroid problems.”
“I’m just big boned.”
“I eat way more calories than I need, even if I were to run two marathons every single day of my life. That is why rolls of my abdominal fat are spilling over the armrest onto your seat.”

People use all sorts of excuses to justify their weight problems (though admittedly, the third example above – honesty – is a rare one). Well, scientists are now reporting that they have found a gene whose loss is associated with compulsive eating an obesity. Expect to hear it used some time very soon. Read the rest of this entry »

Are you a man? Do you watch porn? Then you are useless to science.

Canadian boffins, carrying out a study into the mental effects of watching pornography, wanted some men who had never seen a skinflick to act as their control group. They could not find a single such guy. Men are perverts.

LOL. Read the rest of this entry »

Great news for vegetarians who miss the taste of meat: in a few years, you may be able to chow down on a slice of bacon or two with a clean conscience. Scientists report today the first ever production of a piece of meat grown entirely in vitro.

Where next with this? May we suggest co-culturing a piece of pork with a pair of pigeon wings? Hey presto: flying pigs. Read the rest of this entry »

New research is showing scientists how sperm production can be increased or decreased by altering the levels of hormone signaling in the testes.

This science is quite clearly a load of balls. Read the rest of this entry »

Great news for men! You always thought it was true, but now scientists have confirmed it: being a bit dirty, and not obsessing over the odd discarded pizza slice laying around for a few days, is good for your immune system.

Read on as we tell you about the research, and provide you with a scientifically approved message to cut out and hand to your wife or girlfriend next time she asks you to wash the dishes. Read the rest of this entry »