Slanted Science

Archive for the ‘Good News For Bad People’ Category

“I’ve got thyroid problems.”
“I’m just big boned.”
“I eat way more calories than I need, even if I were to run two marathons every single day of my life. That is why rolls of my abdominal fat are spilling over the armrest onto your seat.”

People use all sorts of excuses to justify their weight problems (though admittedly, the third example above – honesty – is a rare one). Well, scientists are now reporting that they have found a gene whose loss is associated with compulsive eating an obesity. Expect to hear it used some time very soon. Read the rest of this entry »

Are you a man? Do you watch porn? Then you are useless to science.

Canadian boffins, carrying out a study into the mental effects of watching pornography, wanted some men who had never seen a skinflick to act as their control group. They could not find a single such guy. Men are perverts.

LOL. Read the rest of this entry »

Great news for vegetarians who miss the taste of meat: in a few years, you may be able to chow down on a slice of bacon or two with a clean conscience. Scientists report today the first ever production of a piece of meat grown entirely in vitro.

Where next with this? May we suggest co-culturing a piece of pork with a pair of pigeon wings? Hey presto: flying pigs. Read the rest of this entry »

New research is showing scientists how sperm production can be increased or decreased by altering the levels of hormone signaling in the testes.

This science is quite clearly a load of balls. Read the rest of this entry »

Great news for men! You always thought it was true, but now scientists have confirmed it: being a bit dirty, and not obsessing over the odd discarded pizza slice laying around for a few days, is good for your immune system.

Read on as we tell you about the research, and provide you with a scientifically approved message to cut out and hand to your wife or girlfriend next time she asks you to wash the dishes. Read the rest of this entry »

Oh dear. The Climate Research Center of the University of Anglia, UK, has had its computers hacked by persons unknown. Files stolen during the hack were posted to a rapidly-closed Russian server, but later disseminated across the internet. They seem to indicate that the field’s leading scientists have been colluding to silence those colleagues whose research does not promote their own hysterical viewpoints.
Photo credit: Fillies Wo/UNEP/Still Pictures Read the rest of this entry »

What’s the secret to living to be 100? Vegetarianism? Lots of exercise? Making sure you never watch a Sandra Bullock movie, thus ensuring your blood pressure isn’t raised by contemplating the unfairness of a world in which so little talent can take a person so far?

Well sure, all of those things can help. But a new study shows that it may be our genes, more than our actions, which give us the chance of seeing out a century. Read the rest of this entry »

Great news for skinny guys! Scientists have used gene therapy to successfully increase the size and strength of lab monkeys’ muscles.

But calm down, stickboys: the intended use of this research is in treating degenerative muscular diseases. Better keep paying that gym subscription for a while longer yet. Read the rest of this entry »

Bacteria, eh? Nasty little things.

Strutting around, with their tiny little genomes, doing nothing but bringing misery to mankind: food poisoning; meningitis; halitosis and…obesity? That’s the theory being put forward in a new paper published in the journal Science Translational Medicine. Read the rest of this entry »

The wonderful artwork above is used courtesy of Eric Spitler. You should check him out at EricSpitler.com

Scientists have used that most faithful of laboratory animals – the fruit fly – to identify a number of genes involved in behaviors associated with drinking.

With all sincerity, we would like to offer ourselves up as volunteers to take this work into humans. We’re selfless like that.

Read the rest of this entry »